{"id":717,"date":"2009-09-01T07:09:29","date_gmt":"2009-09-01T11:09:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.lstr.net\/blog\/?p=717"},"modified":"2009-09-02T17:20:54","modified_gmt":"2009-09-02T21:20:54","slug":"why-i-dont-go-into-the-water-reason-1769-giant-wood-lice-feast-on-your-corpse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lstr.net\/blog\/2009\/09\/01\/why-i-dont-go-into-the-water-reason-1769-giant-wood-lice-feast-on-your-corpse\/","title":{"rendered":"Why I don&#8217;t go into the water&#8230;Reason 1,769: Giant wood lice feast on your corpse"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>As your waterlogged corpse settles on the ocean floor, giant isopods, crabs and eels pick it clean in an orgy of dissection and feasting. <\/p>\n<p>There is no Davy Jone&#8217;s Locker waiting for you on the bottom, dear mariner. (Not even a Peter Tork&#8217;s Wastebasket.)<\/p>\n<p>Just the horror&#8230;the horror&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><object width=\"425\" height=\"344\"><param name=\"movie\" value=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/v\/xeOSXtBCY30&#038;hl=en&#038;fs=1&#038;rel=0\"><\/param><param name=\"allowFullScreen\" value=\"true\"><\/param><param name=\"allowscriptaccess\" value=\"always\"><\/param><\/object><\/p>\n<p>Don&#8217;t go in the water. Things in there want you to die.<\/p>\n<p>Specifically, these things. They&#8217;re just hanging out, waiting for you. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>As your waterlogged corpse settles on the ocean floor, giant isopods, crabs and eels pick it clean in an orgy of dissection and feasting. There is no Davy Jone&#8217;s Locker waiting for you on the bottom, dear mariner. (Not even a Peter Tork&#8217;s Wastebasket.) Just the horror&#8230;the horror&#8230; Don&#8217;t go in the water. Things in [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[18],"tags":[111,69],"class_list":["post-717","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-science-fandom","tag-giant-isopods","tag-why-i-dont-go-in-the-water","post-preview"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7V2xo-bz","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lstr.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/717","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lstr.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lstr.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lstr.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lstr.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=717"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.lstr.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/717\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":723,"href":"https:\/\/www.lstr.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/717\/revisions\/723"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lstr.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=717"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lstr.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=717"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lstr.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=717"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}