{"id":1237,"date":"2012-02-28T12:51:37","date_gmt":"2012-02-28T16:51:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.lstr.net\/blog\/?p=1237"},"modified":"2012-03-02T09:44:15","modified_gmt":"2012-03-02T13:44:15","slug":"a-parents-guide-to-the-apocalypse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lstr.net\/blog\/2012\/02\/28\/a-parents-guide-to-the-apocalypse\/","title":{"rendered":"A Parent&#8217;s Guide to the Apocalypse"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I had plenty of time to think on the train this morning courtesy of SEPTA&#8217;s robust and efficient service, and I had the idea for <em>A Parent&#8217;s Guide to the Apocalypse <\/em>. I realized that horror movies and disaster flicks are less fun for me now that I have children, a fact brought home to me last night as each of my children came down with a separate form of the plague. Julia acquired the pukey one, while Benny favored the fevery one. I&#8217;m sure they&#8217;ll swap in a day or two. <\/p>\n<p>Anyway, I realized that I can&#8217;t just pick up and run once the zombies rise. With small kids in tow, the options are fewer. <\/p>\n<p>Here&#8217;s the outline I sketched in my head, but I don&#8217;t know if I should put the serious stuff first or the fun stuff first. <\/p>\n<p>Introduction: Dawn of the Dread, The Paranoid Style in Parenting<br \/>\nChapter 1: Hey, its happened before<br \/>\nChapter 2: So, You Think You&#8217;ll Live through This.<br \/>\nChapter 3: Preparing for the Highly Unlikely without Looking Like A Total Kook or Freaking out Your Kids and Partner.<br \/>\nChapter 4: Nowhere Left to Run, How to Hunker Down or Find New Shelter<br \/>\nChapter 5: Scruffles Isn&#8217;t Coming Back, Helping Children Cope with Deaths in the Family And\/Or Civilization<br \/>\nChapter 6: Running Bartertown: Skills for the Post-Apocalypse<br \/>\nChapter 7: Oh The Many Ways We&#8217;ll Die <--Here is where the fun starts; Include a chart on whether a particular apocalypse is worth doing anything about\nChapter 8: They Came from Outer Space, Part I: Nature Wants Us Dead\nChapter 9: They Came from Outer Space, Part II: Invasion: Earth\nChapter 10: Zombie A-Go-Go\nChapter 11: Financial Apocalypse (Duh)\nChapter 12: They Suck: What To Do When The Vampires Take Over\nChapter 13: Robot Riot\nChapter 14: When the Stars Are Right: Surviving Mind-shattering Reveals\nChapter 15: Everyone Look Busy: Religious Apocalypses \nChapter 16: Pascal's Powerball: A Review Of Non-Western Religious Apocalypses\nChapter 17: Kaijuageddon: Life Under Foot\nChapter 18: Monster Mash-up. \n\nGood deal, eh? Now I just need a publisher and an illustrator. And to write it. \n\n<strong>UPDATE: I added a new first chapter. <\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I had plenty of time to think on the train this morning courtesy of SEPTA&#8217;s robust and efficient service, and I had the idea for A Parent&#8217;s Guide to the Apocalypse . I realized that horror movies and disaster flicks are less fun for me now that I have children, a fact brought home to [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[5,18,8,21],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1237","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dumb-thoughts","category-science-fandom","category-sciencegeek-porn","category-stinkbug-manor","post-preview"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7V2xo-jX","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lstr.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1237","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lstr.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lstr.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lstr.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lstr.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1237"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.lstr.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1237\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1241,"href":"https:\/\/www.lstr.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1237\/revisions\/1241"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lstr.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1237"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lstr.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1237"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lstr.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1237"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}