Stinkbug Manor houses two lovely and awful children, ages 4 (soon-to-be 5) and 7 (soon-to-be 8), and recently, I’ve noticed that they’ve spent far too much time hovering around my computer.
In general, I don’t have a problem with telling them no and booting them off. However, I also know that I want to blunt the emerging issues regarding my daughter, the 7 (8) year-old, whose friends are beginning to acquire either their own devices (iPods Touch, primarily) or laptops. There’s no way on Earth I want to give my daughter unfettered access to Girl Drama, and I certainly don’t believe any child of any means should own a device they can’t replace with the money found in a few holiday cards from Mom-mom & Pop-pop (seriously, Mom, St. Patrick’s Day cards? Really? They appreciate the $5, though.).

My lovely and talented daughter can barely make it through dinner without spilling her glass, I’d hate to see the damage she’d do to her own iPod. They are allowed to play games/Facetime on our devices, even unsupervised (but not far away), but they’re not getting their own. Uh-unh.

Still, I’d like them to use a computer. Even play games (although I’m trying to keep gaming to a minimum. I see no need to introduce gaming consoles any time soon. I fear they will become inevitable, but they are yet another thing that will try to keep my kids inside.

More this, less computing. But still, some computing

More this, less computing. But still, some computing

So, computer it is, and, I have an embarrassment of plans of how to deal with it. But let’s inventory the equally amazing embarrassment of computing options available:

  • A mac mini, purchased 2012 after the catastrophic failure of my old macbook’s hard drive.
  • A macbook, revitalized after the 2012 hard drive death.
  • An ancient Dell laptop, trash picked. Now runs Ubuntu. Doesn’t have a wireless card.
  • A new $199 no-name Chinese laptop bought on Ebay. Also runs on Ubuntu. I bought it intending to give it to the missus, but it was too icky slow for the Win7 it came with and so I decided Ubuntu would be good. It makes for a nice writing laptop, though, so I’m kind of loathe to get rid of it.
  • An ancient Dell Inspiron laptop what my wife uses for work and should replace for Gawd’s sake already. (Generally off the table.)

So here are the options:

1) I could give each child their own account on the Macs, complete with predetermined auto shutdown time limit thingies, which is nice.

Downsides:

  • I still don’t like the idea of them mucking about on the computer with all the Family Stuff on it.
  • They also tend to poke the screens with their little pointy appendages and it gets all icky.

2) I could give them each an Ubuntu laptop, with similar safety bits.

Downsides:

  • They’re not at all familiar with Ubuntu.
  • One of them would necessarily get the trashpick Dell, whose lack of WiFi card would prevent PBS kids and require tethering to the router. (Still, minecraft)
  • Inability to Facetime or Message with Apple-equipped peers, the little sh!ts.

 

3) Do nothing. Allow them to whine.

There’s no downsides to that, really, as the whinging hardly stops anyway. Still, I want them to be able to use a computer to discover how to do stuff and make stuff.

So, while I’m trying to decide, some helpful links. If you happen to read this, let me know if you have any ideas. Feel free to comment.

Ubuntu-y

How to Create a Family-Friendly Ubuntu Land of Pure Bliss. Setup.

How to restrict my kid’s computing time.

Linux is Full of Educational Software.

Edubuntu.

DansGuardian

How to Install DansGuardian

9 of the Best Linux Educational Games

The Linux Desktop: Rich With Educational Software

Mac-y
Child-proofing your Mac.

How to share your Mac with your family.

How to manage multiple Macs at home.

Support.Apple’s bit on managing kid computer usage.