Forgive the Haddock-like exclamation, but man these things hit all the wrong squish-horror spots in the back of my brain.

It’s a log or something coated in barnacles. Major ick. If something is out to sea long enough, it appears they can become certain barnacle bait, such as this Japanese boat that washed up in Washington State last

Ewwww

Here’s the lesson for today. Barnacles are crustaceans, related to lobsters and Sebastian the Crab from The Little Mermaid. They DO NOT sing warmed over romantic calypso tunes, however. Barnacles are hermaphodites. And will permanently cement themselves to objects as a base from which to filter food from the sea. They are, in short, clingy perverts with little culinary discretion.