I had plenty of time to think on the train this morning courtesy of SEPTA’s robust and efficient service, and I had the idea for A Parent’s Guide to the Apocalypse . I realized that horror movies and disaster flicks are less fun for me now that I have children, a fact brought home to me last night as each of my children came down with a separate form of the plague. Julia acquired the pukey one, while Benny favored the fevery one. I’m sure they’ll swap in a day or two.
Anyway, I realized that I can’t just pick up and run once the zombies rise. With small kids in tow, the options are fewer.
Here’s the outline I sketched in my head, but I don’t know if I should put the serious stuff first or the fun stuff first.
Introduction: Dawn of the Dread, The Paranoid Style in Parenting
Chapter 1: Hey, its happened before
Chapter 2: So, You Think You’ll Live through This.
Chapter 3: Preparing for the Highly Unlikely without Looking Like A Total Kook or Freaking out Your Kids and Partner.
Chapter 4: Nowhere Left to Run, How to Hunker Down or Find New Shelter
Chapter 5: Scruffles Isn’t Coming Back, Helping Children Cope with Deaths in the Family And/Or Civilization
Chapter 6: Running Bartertown: Skills for the Post-Apocalypse
Chapter 7: Oh The Many Ways We’ll Die <--Here is where the fun starts; Include a chart on whether a particular apocalypse is worth doing anything about Chapter 8: They Came from Outer Space, Part I: Nature Wants Us Dead Chapter 9: They Came from Outer Space, Part II: Invasion: Earth Chapter 10: Zombie A-Go-Go Chapter 11: Financial Apocalypse (Duh) Chapter 12: They Suck: What To Do When The Vampires Take Over Chapter 13: Robot Riot Chapter 14: When the Stars Are Right: Surviving Mind-shattering Reveals Chapter 15: Everyone Look Busy: Religious Apocalypses Chapter 16: Pascal's Powerball: A Review Of Non-Western Religious Apocalypses Chapter 17: Kaijuageddon: Life Under Foot Chapter 18: Monster Mash-up. Good deal, eh? Now I just need a publisher and an illustrator. And to write it. UPDATE: I added a new first chapter.