Archive for February, 2012

A Parent’s Guide to the Apocalypse

I had plenty of time to think on the train this morning courtesy of SEPTA’s robust and efficient service, and I had the idea for A Parent’s Guide to the Apocalypse . I realized that horror movies and disaster flicks are less fun for me now that I have children, a fact brought home to me last night as each of my children came down with a separate form of the plague. Julia acquired the pukey one, while Benny favored the fevery one. I’m sure they’ll swap in a day or two.

Anyway, I realized that I can’t just pick up and run once the zombies rise. With small kids in tow, the options are fewer.

Here’s the outline I sketched in my head, but I don’t know if I should put the serious stuff first or the fun stuff first.

Introduction: Dawn of the Dread, The Paranoid Style in Parenting
Chapter 1: Hey, its happened before
Chapter 2: So, You Think You’ll Live through This.
Chapter 3: Preparing for the Highly Unlikely without Looking Like A Total Kook or Freaking out Your Kids and Partner.
Chapter 4: Nowhere Left to Run, How to Hunker Down or Find New Shelter
Chapter 5: Scruffles Isn’t Coming Back, Helping Children Cope with Deaths in the Family And/Or Civilization
Chapter 6: Running Bartertown: Skills for the Post-Apocalypse
Chapter 7: Oh The Many Ways We’ll Die <--Here is where the fun starts; Include a chart on whether a particular apocalypse is worth doing anything about
Chapter 8: They Came from Outer Space, Part I: Nature Wants Us Dead
Chapter 9: They Came from Outer Space, Part II: Invasion: Earth
Chapter 10: Zombie A-Go-Go
Chapter 11: Financial Apocalypse (Duh)
Chapter 12: They Suck: What To Do When The Vampires Take Over
Chapter 13: Robot Riot
Chapter 14: When the Stars Are Right: Surviving Mind-shattering Reveals
Chapter 15: Everyone Look Busy: Religious Apocalypses
Chapter 16: Pascal's Powerball: A Review Of Non-Western Religious Apocalypses
Chapter 17: Kaijuageddon: Life Under Foot
Chapter 18: Monster Mash-up.

Good deal, eh? Now I just need a publisher and an illustrator. And to write it.

UPDATE: I added a new first chapter.

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Link Dump: Quacks and Dinos

Here’s an interesting essay on homeopathy for those interested in that sort of thing. Regulating over-the-counter curatives is a weird thing, especially when dealing with homeopathy which, if done properly, doesn’t really have anything in it.

Arnica, for example. There’s a big difference between homeopathic arnica preparations (which don’t got no arnica in it) vs. arnica gel (which is often labeled homeopathic even though it has an active amount of ingredient). Arnica gel can actually do something. Anyway, PZ Myers schooled the Jezebel site on the topic, which is worth a read.

I know some folks who have fallen for applied kinesiology…not scams, per se, but some hokum motivational speaker. Here’s a good an interesting look at the phenomena and how its used on Science-Based Medicine, written by the awesome Harriet Hall whose wrath I unfortunately incurred by attributing an article of her’s to Steven Novella, likely because SBM at the time looked identical to NeuroLogica.

Also: Heh, wallet biopsy.

Are blue whales the biggest animals ever? Maybe.

I mean, its one of those factoids that comes up repeatedly in books about either whales or dinosaurs, both of which we have in great heaps at Stinkbug Manor. (Definitely need a new bookcase in Julia’s room.) At 98 ft (30m) long and weighing almost 200 tons (180mt), it is certainly big. Dino-writer extraordinaire, Brian Switek, reexamines the claim with a look at some of the biggest sauropods that may (or may not) have ever existed. Spoiler: some dinos were longer, but none were likely more massive than a big blue.

Argentinosaurs, shamefully hot-linked

Speaking of Switek and sauropods, he mentioned on Twitter the other week about a dinosaur app for the iPad that I felt necessary to buy. It hasn’t been as popular with the kids as Dinosaur Zoo, due to the lack of defecating sauropods, but it is a little more stylish, a lot more expensive, and contains 100 percent more Stephen Fry, which is worth the $15. It is called Inside the World of Dinosaurs, and each morning, as I make coffee, Mr. Fry tells me about a dinosaur. This morning it was Argentinosaurus. Of course, I’d buy a copy of the phone book if Fry were to narrate it. Interestingly, he pronounces Giganotosaurus (which played into the story of Argentinosaurus) differently than they do on Dinosaur Train, favoring Ji-GANT-osaurus over Ji-gah-NOH-ta-saurus (forgive my phonetic approximations).

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Why I don’t go into the water: Strange Love at The Ocean’s Floor (Happy Valentine’s Day!)

Thank you Brian Switek for entering the phrase “bone-burrowing snotworm” into my nightmare lexicon. Osedax

Today Brian wrote a lovely article on icthyosaur falls, which are like whale falls but, you know, they happened a long time ago to, you know, icthyosaurs.

The point being that ichthyosaur carcasses, like whale carcasses today, could serve to feed an entire ecosystem of bottom-dwelling, presumably nasty, critters. Sayeth Switek:

How different organisms utilized marine reptiles depended on the state of the carcass. When the dead marine reptiles were still covered in flesh, sharks and cephalopods probably picked at the body. Once denuded of soft parts, though, the reptile’s skeleton could have been a refuge for various encrusting and burrowing organisms (although, as far as I am aware, no one has yet found evidence of bone-burrowing snotworms among Mesozoic marine reptile skeletons). Fine-scale field investigations are required to further investigate this hypothesis, but Hogler made a reasonable case that marine reptile deadfalls may have been ecologic precursors to modern whalefalls. Perhaps some of the organisms which congregate to dismantle whales today are the descendants and relatives of creatures which used to greet the carcasses of mosasaurs, ichthyosaurs, and other Mesozoic sea dragons.

Osedax

So thusly we are reminded of a past, reason not to go into the water: bone-eating dominatrix tube worms with a dwarf fetish.

Ah, love. In all its filthy disgusting forms.

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